Its been 5 months now.
5 months of me not getting over you.
5 months of me waiting for you.
5 months of me hoping it all falls in place again.
Just 5 months that’s all it took for me to realize, realize what I realize every single day I wake up, that I can’t get over you.
I try, try everyday to learn to be without you.
To learn to forget you even.
But I swear my life is yours.
My heart is yours.
It’s as if Cupid shot me so hard instead of wounding me.
He killed me.

Is this my life?
Is this the way to live?
Waiting for someone who won’t give in.
I’m hopeless and romantic for you yet you don’t nudge.
I want to shake you sometimes and duck tape you to a chair to make sure understand how we were.
I can’t stand how it doesn’t effect you like it does to me.
Today you asked me if I look into the eyes of the person I’m talking to..
At that moment, every memory of your eyes flashed before mine.
I saw you hurting, happy, in love, mad, annoyed, heartbroken.
“What does it look like in my eyes?” I should have asked.
You would sit there, worried not to say what you see because what you see you see is pain.
You see me suffering.
You see tears yet no tears fall.
Yet, in the middle is passion.
The only thing that holds me together.
The only thing that won’t let me crack.
I’ve put off believing this isn’t going to happen, for my heart cant take it anymore.
It pumps it’s blood for you, as if this body of mine is just a body with no soul but yours.
I swear, you consume me more than anyone else in the world should.
You are my strength.
You are my dignity.
You are my everything.
It’s funny, how I never took you for granted, but I feel like I’ve lost you and I wish I could start it all over again.
As if I didn’t cherish you enough.
I’m heartbroken.
That’s the best way to put it, heartbroken.
It’s cracked and shattered.
And I let it be.
But for you and everyone else, possibly even myself I pretend this lie that I’m okay, as if I put a decoy in for my real one.
I’m exhausted.
I’m crushed.
I’m alone.
And, I want you back.